What are Friends for?
by Jooh
Summary: Sokka's sure he's the only person in the world stupid enough to get himself into this much trouble. Luckily, Toph's the only person in the world smart enough to get him out of it. But not without some major diversions along the way. Tokka.
1. Chapter 1

With the recent lack of Avatar fanfiction, I began to miss it. I started to write this.

It's the first fanfiction I've ever written that actually has a plot. Cliche and fluffy though it may be, it will keep me entertained for a while at least.

Hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter 1: Kyoshi Island**

_Wedding present… wedding present… wedding present…_

I chanted to myself as I browsed the bustling marketplace for an appropriate gift, like I was afraid I would forget what I was shopping for.

_Ha! As if._

The upcoming wedding had been one of the only things on my mind ever since it had been announced and I had been whisked away to this godforsaken island. Of all the places to have a wedding, it had to be here. Of all the beautiful, romantically cliché islands for my sister to get hitched on, it had to be this one. There were plenty of other, better islands. Islands without Ty Lee or golden fans or…

_No,_ I thought. I wouldn't even allow myself to think her name, lest it curse me with her presence. I had been doing well to keep her out of my thoughts given the circumstances, and I wasn't going to let my irritation ruin that good streak.

_Wedding present… wedding present… wedding present…_

"Sokka?"

_Please don't let that be who I think it is._

I turned around toward the voice. I'm sure the expression on my face was one of sheer pain. I think I may have even winced.

"Oh my God, Sokka! It's been forever!"

_God, indeed,_ I thought bitterly, more than a bit pissed of at that one particular deity.

"Hey, Suki," I choked out. My voice sounded scratchy and unstable, like I was about to cry.

Which I definitely was NOT. Because warriors don't cry. Especially not over girls.

"Wow, you look so different. I know it's only been a few months but…" I squirmed uncomfortably as she looked me over. "Is that a beard?"

I touched my chin self-consciously. It was true, I had been trying to grow one. I just wasn't sure that the hair inhabiting my face could legally be called a beard. I honestly wasn't sure how to answer her question.

"Erm, you look different too, Suki."

But truthfully, she didn't. She looked exactly the same as she had when I had last seen her. Just as deceptive. Just as hurtful. And just as beautiful.

She laughed.

"So, you here for the wedding next week?" I nodded. "Aang and Katara are so cute together!"

I thought of the couple in question momentarily. I guess they could be considered "cute together," maybe. If you squint your eyes and tilt your head ever so slightly. I just nodded in agreement. My god, the powers this chick had over me!

A man standing next to Suki cleared his throat. Had he been standing there the whole time? His bright blue eyes were squinted ever so slightly, as if he were irritated. He definitely wasn't the only one.

"Suki, who is this? You haven't introduced us." His voice had a slight twang of gay in it, and I almost started laughing. Almost. And then he put his arm around her shoulder. I wasn't sure how to react.

"Oh," Suki said, blushing slightly. "This is Sokka. Sokka, this is my _boyfriend,_ Ren." The way she exaggerated the word "boyfriend" made me want to shrivel up and die. "Ren, Sokka's an old _friend_ of mine. We haven't seen each other in a while." My desire to shrivel up and die intensified.

"Ah." Ren raised his eyebrows and looked –glared- down at me as if I were something stuck to the bottom of his shoe. I avoided his gaze and proceeded to examine my feet as if they held the way out of this situation.

"So…" Suki attempted. "Sokka, do you… have a girlfriend?"

_Great conversation starter, Suki. That's sure to make things less awkward._

"Er,"

_No. I'm a pathetic loser. I haven't had a girlfriend since you dumped me over a year ago, despite the fact that you've clearly had no trouble moving on. _

"Yeah, I do, actually." Her eyes widened.

"Really, now?" I was almost offended by how shocked she seemed. On the other hand, it was somewhat comforting to finally have the upper hand in the conversation. "Anyone I've heard of?"

"Uh,"

_Think fast. Don't say anything stupid._

"Yeah. Ty Lee."

_Good one._ She raised an eyebrow.

"Ty Lee." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Like when you do something wrong as a kid and you come up with some elaborate excuse and you know it sounds stupid but your mom repeats it back to you just to make you realize again how stupid it was. Yeah. That tone. My ex-girlfriend was using _that_ tone with me. I can't say I didn't deserve it. Still, it was unnecessarily degrading at that point; I couldn't possibly get any lower.

"Er, yeah. Her." She scrutinized me in disbelief for a moment longer. And then something amazing happened. She seemed to believe me. Her expression turned to an amused smirk and she shrugged.

"Well, she did have that huge crush on you a while back. I'm not surprised." What the hell was that? Was this chick just messing with my head or what? I gulped. I needed help, answers, and maybe a few comforting lies. And I didn't think Suki was willing to provide me with any of those things.

"Well it was nice talking to you, Suki. I guess I'll see you around. And Ren. I'm so glad to have met you. Honestly, absolutely thrilled."

And with that I walked away.

_Smooth…_

I hushed my internal criticism and went to go find my living, breathing, earth bending conscience and best friend; Toph.

_Yeah. Toph can fix this. _

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I wasn't too sure at first about Sokka having internal dialogue, but I used it a couple of times and liked the way it looked, so I kept it.

The whole story isn't going to be from his perspective though. I think I'm going to alternate between his and Toph's POV every chapter.

Anyway, comments and crits would be greatly appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

I don't know if this will be confusing or not, but I'll just go ahead and point out the fact that this chapter starts off in Toph's point of view, and then switches to Sokka's later. I just didn't want to label it directly, because you can't do that when writing a novel or whatever. So yeah. Enjoy.

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**Chapter 2: Solutions**

I blinked as Sokka's words echoed through the small hotel room. I didn't know how to react. I figured it would be safest at this point just to keep quiet and let him contemplate what a moron he really was.

I mean, I had always known Sokka was stupid, but he had just revealed a whole new level of stupidity the likes of which even I have never experienced. And I had experienced some pretty stupid shit.

And while it was true that yeah, he did seem to realize he had made a mistake, I don't think he completely grasped the magnitude of the situation. He just stood there and waited for my response. His heart rate was almost freaking normal.

"Hold on. Could you repeat that?" I pretended to clean wax out of my ears for effect, flicking it away when there actually –was- some. I thought that maybe if he said it again, he would recognize how idiotic it sounded.

"Sure," he agreed, somewhat uncomfortable. "I told Suki I was going out with Ty Lee so that she wouldn't think I haven't been able to move on."

"That's what I thought you said." I shook my head. He was serious. "But in all honesty, you HAVEN'T been able to move on. Why lie to impress her?"

"Because SHE has a boyfriend now. I won't be outdone." Whoa. Suki had a boyfriend? That was fast. Not that I was surprised.

"Don't get me wrong, Sokka, I understand how you don't want to be outdone. I'm not one to be outdone myself. But Ty Lee? What the hell were you thinking?" I flicked him on the forehead for emphasis.

"Ouch," he complained. "Yeah it was stupid, but I don't think it's really as bad as you think. It's not like we're actually going out. Plus, why do you care? Are you jealous?"

I felt my face turn hot. "_No_, I'm not _jealous_. Just concerned with your safety, though I'm starting to wonder why bother." He looked confused. I elaborated for his benefit. "You have to remember it's Ty Lee we're talking about. She'll find out. And she'll take it seriously. And before you know it, you'll be living in an entirely pink house on Kyoshi Island with scads of contortionist babies."

He shuddered. He obviously hadn't thought of that consequence. I shuddered too, picturing a newborn baby doing a backbend. I briefly wondered why that freaked me out so much.

"Well," He countered, once he regained use of his vocal chords. "What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, that's great Suki. I'm so glad you're doing so well in your new relationship, because I, for one, haven't had physical contact with the opposite sex since we broke up!' My god. Of all the places, why did Aang and Katara have to get married on Kyoshi Island? If they would have chosen anywhere else, I probably wouldn't have ever had to see Suki again."

"As nice as that sounds, she probably would have been invited to the wedding regardless of its location. You would have had to deal with her either way."

I sensed him glaring at me and shrugged. "What? I'm just being realistic."

"I don't need you to be realistic right now, Toph," He said, sounding absolutely fed up. "I need you to be comforting."

"That's just not me. If you want a brainless mother figure who'll lie to you to make you feel better, find a new best friend." He winced, and I wondered if I had gone too far. "Look, Sokka. I didn't-"

"No," he interrupted. "You're right. I came to you for advice, not for comfort. Though sometimes I wish you would just get to the point instead of telling me off and letting me know how stupid I am first."

He had a point. Still, I couldn't deny myself the amusement I found in mocking Sokka. It had become a pastime, as sad as that sounds. "So yeah, I screwed up big time. That much I know," He continued. "But how do I fix it? Because I am incredibly determined to NOT have contortionist babies, if it's at all possible."

"Well, the way I see it, the only way to fix this is to go out with Ty Lee."

"Isn't that exactly what I said I don't want to do?"

"Look, you don't have to reproduce with the chick. You'll just have to go out with her and then break up before it gets too serious. That way, you won't have to admit to Suki that you lied to impress her, OR have circus babies. It's a win-win situation."

He absent-mindedly stroked the beginnings of a beard that had appeared on his chin.

"You know… That just might work!"

"What can I say? I'm a genius."

And then he did something completely unexpected. He must have been really freaking relieved to get the situation off his chest or something, because before I knew it, he had pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head happily. My whole body went numb, and he pulled away from me.

We spent the next few seconds standing next to each other in uncomfortable silence.

Finally, I cleared my throat.

"You should… uh, probably go now. You know. Ask her out before Suki finds out it was a lie and all that…"

"Yeah, yeah," he agreed quickly. "I'll go do that. Like, now."

And then he was gone, and I was left alone in the room, with nothing but a medley of confusing emotions to keep me company.

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At first, Toph's plan seemed foolproof. Which it pretty much would have to be in order to work. Because knowing me, if there was a way to screw it up, I would find it.

It occurred to me rather quickly that I had no idea how to actually find Ty Lee. I didn't know where she lived, how to get there, nothing. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I stood in the middle of a busy street, hoping that, by an off chance, I would see her. Smart, right? Yeah.

I'm a genius.

As I watched the assortment of busy-looking people making their way through the street, I thought about how much easier this would be if Kyoshi Island were still the quaint, quiet place it had been when I had first visited it.

After the war, when Aang began to tell stories of his journeys as the avatar, every place he ever visited became an instant tourist trap. And Kyoshi Island was one of the most popular. Lucky me. How was I supposed to find just one person in this huge crowd of people?

And then I saw her, and I remembered; she's a circus freak.

She was walking through the busy street. On her hands. Way to blend in.

With much difficulty, I managed to maneuver myself through the busy throng of people toward the one that was upside down. I wasn't sure how to get her attention. Hesitantly, I poked her bare foot, noting her freshly manicured pink toenails. She turned on her hands to face me.

"SOKKA!" She exclaimed. In one graceful, fluid motion, she fell into a backbend and stood up, on her feet this time. She threw her slender arms around my shoulders. "It's been forever!" She dragged me to the side of the road so we could converse without being trampled, which I was mostly grateful for.

"Er, yeah. I guess it has." I studied her face, wondering how someone could be so happy_ all the time_. It was honestly nothing short of creepy. "So, I'm here for the wedding next week. And I was wondering if, maybe, since I'm here and everything, you might want to go out to dinner or something?"

I tried my best to make it sound like a casual invitation. It would make it easier for me later. Her eyes got so wide I thought they would pop out of her head.

"Seriously? Sure! Give me a place and time!" Wow, this chick was freaky. She was literally bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.

"Uhm, tonight. How about you choose the place? I don't really know the area too well." More excited bouncing.

"Ooh! Okay, I know just the place! Meet me back here around sunset and I'll take you. It'll be a surprise!" She beamed, obviously very proud of herself.

"Sounds great. Er, I should go get ready. I guess I'll see you then."

"I can't wait.!" And with that, she snapped up into a perfect handstand and walked away.

So far, the plan was working perfectly. I just needed to survive this date, maybe a few after it, and then break up with her. Simple as that. We'd leave a few days later once the wedding was over, and I'd never have to see Ty Lee or Suki or her gay boyfriend again.

I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.


	3. Chapter 3

Wow. It's really been a while. I guess I sort of lost interest in this for a while. I don't know what made me want to start writing it again, but here it is. I'm not as happy with this chapter as I have been with the previous ones. But I don't know. That's why I'd really appreciate any comments or criticism. ;D

Also: this chapter is completely from Toph's point of view.

Well, enjoy! And if you don't, tell me why not. I'm here to improve.

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**Chapter 3: Eavesdropping**

Usually, I enjoy being alone. People tend to piss me off, even when they aren't trying to. So most of the time, spending hours laying around and doing nothing wouldn't bother me one bit. Tonight was an exception.

Sokka had been gone for… I don't even know how long. An hour? Two? No one takes that long to eat dinner! At least, not Sokka.

Sokka chokes down food so fast I doubt he even tastes it.

Anyway, I was bored out of my mind. And if that wasn't bad enough, there was the knowledge that somewhere, my best friend was making a complete fool of himself in front of Ty Lee. And I was missing it.

For exactly the twenty-fourth time that night, I thumped my head against the wall in frustration. It was already well bruised, and I imagined that it looked very unattractive. Not that I cared much.

I wasn't usually such a masochist, but boredom was getting the better of my sanity. And the wall was getting the better of my brain cells.

To avoid losing any more of either, I did something very stupid.

I decided to go find Sokka.

Though I had no idea which restaurant they were at, finding it was no challenge at all. I figured I'd just walk around until I found the fanciest place on the island. That wasn't hard. The thing was right on the water, and the foundation was so huge I could feel its vibrations from a hundred feet away. The smell wafting from it was mouth-watering.

At that point, I didn't care if Sokka and Ty Lee were in there or not, I was getting food.

Lucky for me, they _were_ in there. As soon as I stepped inside, I was greeted by an uncomfortably forced burst of laughter that could only belong to Sokka. I wriggled my bare toes against the tile to get a better look. They were seated towards the back of the restaurant. Besides that, I couldn't see much of what was going on due to the wooden tables and chairs.

"Excuse me, ma'am," came a voice from behind me, accompanied by a firm tap on the shoulder. I assumed it was one of the waitresses. "No shoes, no service."

Without turning around, I looked down at my feet and shrugged.

"Oops. Didn't know," I said bluntly.

"We have a sign. Can't you read?" Which is exactly what I wanted her to say. I turned to face her, my eyebrows arched in a look of perfect alarm.

"Very professional, mocking the blind."

"I-," She seemed at a loss for words. "I am so sorry. I had no idea. Allow me to seat you." Score. As much as I hate playing the touchy blind girl, I have to admit it comes in handy from time to time.

Once I was seated and the embarrassed waitress rushed away, I focused in on Sokka and Ty Lee's conversation. I wasn't really seated anywhere near them, but that wasn't much of a problem since I could hear them anyway. Neither of them was aware of my presence in the restaurant, which would typically be ideal conditions for spying. But since they weren't talking about anything particularly exciting, I decided to make myself known and see what happened.

When I got to their table, Ty Lee was talking animatedly about what she was wearing to the wedding next week. Sokka noticed me first, and his heart nervously skipped a beat. He knew me well enough to know I was up to no good. I smiled innocently in return.

When Ty Lee saw me, there was an immediate darkening in her mood. This confused me. Did she see me as a threat? Oh, this could be fun.

"Hey, Sokka, Ty Lee," I said, struggling to keep up my casual façade as Sokka sighed heavily. "What a coincidence!"

"Pretty wacky," Sokka said through gritted teeth. Ty Lee remained silent.

This was just too perfect.

Then -and I wasn't sure what compelled me to do this- I sat down on the bench right next to Sokka. Like, too close for comfort. Or maybe just close _enough_ for comfort. Either way, it pissed Ty Lee off big time. I felt her fingers curling tightly around the napkin on her lap.

Then I remembered the chick had mad poking skills and figured it would probably be best not to piss her off _too_ much. Not that I didn't think I could take her.

"Alright then, just thought I'd say 'hi.' I'll let you get back to your date," I said. I stood up slowly, half convinced that if I made any sudden movements she would pounce. "It was nice seeing you, Ty Lee."

"You too, Toph. We'll have to get together and catch up sometime!" Her voice was the epitome of sincerity, yet she was lying. That was sort of scary. Usually when people lie you can at least hear it a little in their tone of voice. But this chick had mastered deception to the point where it took a master earthbender like me to figure out she wasn't telling the truth. Not sure what to say, I merely nodded and headed back to my table.

"You and Toph seem awfully close," Ty Lee said as soon as she thought I was out of hearing range. I snickered.

"Er, what do you mean?" Sokka sounded nervous. Unlike his "date," he knew how awesome my hearing was and that I was probably listening.

"Oh, nothing. Forget I mentioned it." Sokka didn't say anything for a while. I could tell he was perfectly intrigued and that by this point, there was no way he could "forget she mentioned it." But that's probably just what she wanted. She was holding his attention completely.

I really wanted him to just drop it. But I knew Sokka and so I knew that was impossible.

"Close… how?" He persisted.

"Well, I'm sure this isn't really the case, but it sort of seems like she's in love with you." From my table, I snorted uneasily. I couldn't really mock her reasoning completely because honestly, I wasn't sure what the hell I felt these days.

She let him struggle for a response for a while before adding, "Not that I'd blame her. You're quite the likable guy."

"It may seem like that, but Toph and I are best friends," he finally explained. "We're just really comfortable around each other." And then for my benefit, he threw in, "She can get _really_ annoying sometimes though."

"That's good to hear," She said happily. "I wouldn't want anything to get in the way of our relationship."

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. Right as the waitress walked up to take my order, too. I don't even want to know what kind of look she gave me.

Anyway, I had heard enough of my friend's suffering, so I decided to give them their privacy. It was fun enough just knowing that Sokka _thought _I was listening.

Having done my job, I enjoyed my meal in silence.

I just hoped Sokka wouldn't be _too_ mad when this was over with.


	4. Chapter 4

I am steadily gaining enthusiasm for this fic.

Expect more frequent updates.

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**Chapter 4: Confrontation**

"What the hell, Toph?" I bellowed, storming angrily into her hotel room. I was more than a little peeved about her little shenanigan at the restaurant earlier that evening. I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to do about it, but I figured I'd make stuff up as I went along. Since that had worked so well for me in the past.

Not.

Only when I got in the room, my conniving best friend was nowhere to be seen.

"I understand you're upset and you probably have some brilliant plan to get back at me and maybe even make me feel bad for what I did," she called sarcastically from the bathroom. "But I'm bathing right now so that'll have to wait."

My anger ceased momentarily.

"You bathe?" I asked, letting innocent curiosity color my tone. As rude of a question as it may have seemed, this honestly surprised me.

An amused chuckle came from behind the bathroom door.

"Not frequently," she admitted.

I almost smiled. But then I remembered I was supposed to be angry.

"I thought you were going to help me, Toph, not make things worse."

"When did I say I was going to help you? I just gave you a solution. I'm not going to hold your hand all the way through it."

Frustrated, I felt my face redden.

"That doesn't mean you have to work _against_ me for your own sick pleasure."

"Think, Sokka. In all the years we've been friends, when have I ever _not_ done that?"

She had a point. This wasn't some new conspiracy; it was just Toph being Toph. I guess all the stress of the situation just sort of got to me. I sighed and sat down on the couch while I waited for her to come out. I probably could have just dismissed myself and left right then. Probably should have- it would have given off the impression that I wasn't just some toy for her to play around with. But I found time after time that for all her flaws and the embarrassment she caused me, she was my best friend and I needed to be around her.

She came out fully clothed, her hair tangled and dripping. The feminine side of me- the side that likes shopping and cute animals- wanted to brush it out so badly my fingers even twitched. Self control and masculinity prevailed in the end and I remained still.

"You're still here, huh?" She asked, heading over to the couch and plopping down next to me. "Still think you can make me feel bad? Or is there something else you wanted to yell at me for?"

"Nah, I'm done with that for now. Just wanted to talk."

"About what?" She drew her legs up and propped one foot on the other knee, proceeding to pick the dirt out from her toenails.

"Nothing in particular… what are you getting all clean for?"

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe your sister's wedding next week?"

"That's not until next week. You'll be filthy again by then." She shrugged as if this were irrelevant.

"Then I'll bathe again. Speaking of your sister though, where the hell is she? I haven't seen her or Aang since we got here." As much as I wished I could answer her question, I hadn't seen them much either.

"Er, you know. They've probably been busy planning the wedding and… stuff." Her expression screamed "bullshit."

"You sure they aren't just having an early honeymoon?"

"Not entirely." Silence while Toph continued cleaning her toenails. "So what are you wearing to the wedding?" I asked casually. I hadn't seen her in a dress since we were children, but I sometimes pictured it. Not in a creepy way or anything. It was just that occasionally, I would remember Toph was a woman, and I couldn't help but imagine what she would look like if she dressed like one. She shrugged.

"That's not really something I was planning on deciding for myself. I sort of figured Katara would pick something out for me, but she seems… otherwise occupied."

"Why can't you pick something out yourself?"

"Uh, because I'd have no idea what it looks like?" Oh. Right. My feminine side was kicking in again.

"I could help you pick something out." I tried to make my proposal to go shopping with her sound as manly and heroic as possible.

"Hell no, Sokka. I'm smarter than that. You're still angry at me for sabotaging your date. You'd probably pick out the most hideous dress you could find and I would never know." I sighed. I couldn't blame her for not trusting me; that _did _sound like something I would do.

"How about this, then? I pick something out, and then we ask random strangers in the store for their opinion. That way you know for sure whether it looks good or not because you'd know if they were lying." She couldn't argue with that. Well, she probably could, but she seemed to decide against it.

"Fine. But no funny business. I'll know if there's funny business. And the punishment for funny business will be cruel."

I shuddered.

This was going to be the scariest shopping trip ever.

* * *

Short chapter. The next one will be longer, I promise.

(That's what she said)

I was really unsure about Sokka's "feminine side." There's no doubt in my mind that he has one, but I wasn't sure if my portrayal of it would sound... gay.

Lemme know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Maturity**

"Ooh, here. And this one, too!" Sokka was dragging me around the store excitedly, collecting dress after dress for me to try on. He was having way too much fun with this. I, on the other hand, was not.

I had never been a fan of shopping. Of course, when I had to, going with Sokka always made it considerably more fun. This was an exception. I was going to be in the dressing room for hours.

Finally, when it seemed he couldn't carry any more, Sokka stopped, looked over his findings and said, "That should be enough for now." He then proceeded to drag me to the dressing rooms toward the back of the store. I groaned.

"What do you mean, 'For now?' You realize I only need _one_ dress, right?"

He ignored my griping and dumped the dresses in my arms.

"Go try them on," he commanded. "And you have to show me _each one_, no matter how stupid you feel."

"Yes, _mother._" I stomped into the dressing room.

I rifled through the dresses until I found one that didn't have any annoying ruffles or laces or anything. Then, an epic battle ensued as I tried desperately to get the dress on. This did not occur without a few choice cuss words on my part.

"You okay in there?" Sokka called, half worried, half amused.

"Shut the hell up," came my muffled reply.

Finally, I was able to pop my head through the top and my arms through the sleeves. My hair was a static mess around my face. From what I could feel, the dress had short sleeves, a plunging neckline, and came down just past my knees. Oh, great. Good choice, Sokka.

With a deep breath, I reluctantly stepped out of the dressing room. Sokka didn't say anything at first, which worried me. And then finally,

"You look… pretty."

He was lying.

"You better tell me the freaking truth or I'm forgetting the dress and wearing _pants_ to this thing."

"No, really. You look good." There was something off about the lie this time. He wasn't contradicting the truth, just leaving parts out. Not telling all of it.

Hell, maybe I looked better than Sokka was ready to admit. For whatever reason, this made me smile.

"Kay then. Let's get it."

I was fairly happy to have made it out of the store so quickly. Of course, Sokka wasn't finished.

"You can't go just in that," he informed me. "You need jewelry and shoes or something." I stopped dead.

"Shoes?"

"Well, yeah. You can't go barefoot to a wedding." I chewed my bottom lip, trying to find a way out of this. Finding none, I sighed.

"Fine. I'll wear shoes. And I'm talking _flats_. None of this high heel shit. I'd die." Sokka seemed to find this acceptable, and after shopping around for another half hour or so, we had found everything I needed and more.

And just when I thought we would make it back from our shopping expedition with no complications, we ran into a certain peppy contortionist.

"Ohmigosh, hey Sokka!" Ty Lee seemed to have trouble deciding whether she should greet me or not. When she did, it was a mumbled, "Hi, Toph." Huh. She wasn't even bothering to hide her disappointment. "What are you two up to?"

"Shopping." I replied curtly. I had been tempted to add, "What do _you_ do in the marketplace?" but I didn't think Ty Lee would know how to handle my sarcasm.

Awkward silence.

Sokka squirmed under the mountain of shopping bags in his arms.

"Well, Ty Lee, we should probably get going now."

"Okay then. Oh, wait! We should do something tomorrow. Like a picnic on the beach or something!"

"Uh, okay. That sounds great. I'll, uh. See you. Tomorrow." Before he could leave, Ty Lee planted a kiss right on his cheek.

"Bye!" She sprinted away.

As soon as she was out of ear shot, I was doubled over with laughter. In retaliation, he attempted to kick me, missed, and stumbled. The shopping bags ended up on the ground. I continued laughing.

Yeah. I'm a great friend.

At any rate, by the time we got back to the hotel, I was still chuckling and Sokka was still mad at me for it. _Good thing he's too much of a pussy to do anything about it. _

My first miscalculation of the evening. As soon as we entered my room, he threw the shopping bags down on the table and pounced on me.

"Shit!" I yelled in surprise as he pinned me to the floor. Normally I would just bend him like twenty feet into the air, but there was no earth to bend. Stupid wooden floors. So my only defense was sarcasm at this point. Good thing I was the master. "Okay," I admitted. "Good one, Sokka. Now what?" I knew Sokka would never punch a girl, even if it were me. He seemed to realize this too, and slowly got up to his feet. There was an air of accomplishment about him. "What are you all proud for? You didn't do shit."

"I caught you off guard. That's enough of a triumph for me."

"You wouldn't have been able to do it if,"

"Yeah, yeah," He interrupted. "Wood floors, blah blah blah. Why can't you ever just admit defeat?"

"Because I'm never _defeated._ And especially not by you."

"Whatever, Toph." He seemed to drop it, and crossed to the table where he had thrown the shopping bags. "Where do you want these?"

"So you admit defeat?"

"… By offering to put your stuff away for you? No, that's called being a gentleman. I would think you of all people would,"

"Cut the crap, Sokka. I'm not done with this. Do you seriously think you won just now?"

"In the sense that I'm being the mature one and letting it go, yes."

"Maturity doesn't win wars."

"Actually, it can. But the war's over." I couldn't believe it. He was actually _winning _an argument with me. Right then and there, I should have called a truce or just dropped it or something. But man, he was pissing me off.

"I guess so," I conceded. "So how exactly are you going to deal with Ty Lee… maturely?" His mood dimmed.

"I've been thinking about that."

"And?"

"And I'm not sure how to put this but… I can't break up with her." My jaw dropped.

"Wait, don't tell me you actually like her?"

"No, it's not like that. I just… did you see the way she looked at me?" I crossed my arms and snorted. He seemed to be awaiting my response still. I facepalmed.

"No."

"Wait, what? OH! Right. Blindness. Anyway, Ty Lee is seriously in love with me. I can't just dump her without reason. Believe it or not, I have a heart."

"You are truly an oversensitive idiot."

"I try." I thought over the situation a little bit before another genius solution struck me.

"Okay. It seems there's only one thing you can do, then."

"What?" He seemed apprehensive. Not that I blamed him.

"Get her to break up with you instead."

"Didn't you hear me? I said she's _in love_ with me. That's not gonna happen."

"Would she be in love with you if you, say, picked your nose in public? Dressed like a girl in private? Collected dolls? Couldn't do a single push up without turning purple and collapsing on the floor?"

"Um, I don't know. None of those things apply to me."

"But what if they did? What if you pretended they did?"

"I think… I think I get you. That's actually not a bad idea."

"Of course it's not. I thought of it."

"Just one question though."

"What?"

"Do you have a dress that would fit me or do I have to go out and buy one?"

* * *

Not a very satisfying ending point. Sometimes I just pull this crap out of nowhere. Like, when I started writing this chapter, I had no idea what was going to happen except that they were going shopping. Somehow they ended up arguing and then coming up with a solution to Sokka's growing problem. Maybe that's why I can never finish a fanfic. I don't plan stuff out. I just sort of come up with a situation and see what the characters do. Even I don't know how this is going to end. So I'd be open to any suggestions that aren't TOO out there. 8D


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Crossdressing**

"Okay, Sokka. I have everything set up. Now all you have to do is go along with it." I couldn't believe I was actually agreeing to this. None of her plans had worked so far, why should this be any different? But the truth was, I didn't have any better ideas. So I pretty much had no choice.

"This had better freaking work, Toph," I threatened, glaring at my ridiculous reflection in the mirror.

"Oh, come on. I think you look good in a dress."

"You can't be serious."

"Of course I'm not. I can't see, stupid." Oh, yeah. I felt stupider every time I fell for that one, which was frequently.

Then came a knock on the door. I almost jumped out of my tights.

"Sokkaaaa?" Ty Lee sang.

"Just a minute!"

"Alright," Toph whispered. "I'm going into the other room. I'll come and help you out if things get bad."

"Wait, you're going to be _watching?_" I whispered back. She shrugged.

"More or less." And with that she disappeared into the bedroom.

"Sokka? You okay in there?"

"I'm fine… you can come in now." And she did. And she saw me. And she smiled.

"Oh my GOD, Sokka, I had no idea! I mean, I knew you were a bit feminine, but really!" That hurt a little, actually. Oh well, at least things were going well. "You look SO CUTE!" Wait, what? Cute?

Oh, shit.

"You… you don't mind it?"

"Cross-dressing? Of course not! I always liked men who were a bit more in tune with their feminine side. As long as you're not gay or anything, but I don't think you are because then you wouldn't be going out with me in the first place!"

Ugh. So plan A had failed. Time for plan B. And I was really hoping plan B would work, because I wasn't sure just how far into the alphabet Toph's little scheme went. But I did know that every letter was another chunk out of my already damaged ego.

"I'm glad you approve," I said through gritted teeth, trying my best to sound sincerely relieved. "Why don't you pick out some more masculine clothes for me so we can go out to lunch or something?" Ty Lee giggled.

"Sounds good! Where do you keep your clothes?"

"Um, the closet?" _Where do you keep yours?_ My God, Toph was rubbing off on me.

Then she opened the closet. Plan B had been activated. "Wait, no! Not that closet!" I yelled in false horror. Sitting inside the closet, perfectly arranged, were dozens of fancy collector's edition stuffed moose-lions of every shape and size. All of them together must have cost a fortune. _Wow, when Toph said she was going to make me look like a hardcore moose-lion collector, she freaking _meant_ it. _

"Whoa," Ty Lee gasped in awe. "Some of these are really rare. You must have been collecting them for a while."

"Since I was five," I lied, scratching at my tights which were REALLY starting to get uncomfortable.

"That's amazing!" She squealed.

So plan B had failed as well. And I didn't remember going over a plan C. Now what?

"Um, yeah. I guess it is," I said.

Toph took this as her queue to come out of the bedroom. She looked like she had just woken up. _Shit. What is she going to pull now? _

"Thanks for letting me crash here last night, Sokka. You're a life-saver," she said, running her fingers through her disheveled hair. "Oh! Hey, Ty Lee. Well, this is awkward. I'll just leave you two alone. See you later, Sokka." Then she left the hotel room completely.

_Thanks, Toph. Thanks a lot. _

"So, Toph slept over last night?" She was smiling, which scared me.

"Hehe. Yeah. She… well, her room…" Oh god. Why did Toph think I would be able to handle this? I suck at making shit up on the spot.

"Sokka?" Ty Lee looked like she was on the verge of tears. "Is there something I should know about?"

"No, I told you. Toph's just a friend. She couldn't sleep last night so I said she could come sleep with me. I mean, on my floor."

"You made her sleep on the floor?" This made her smile for some sick reason I won't try to understand.

"She likes the floor."

"Alright, I believe you. Get dressed so we can go eat."

And so I had to endure another date. But I did so happily, and with the small comfort that now, I knew how to get rid of her. There was one thing that had succeeded in upsetting Ty Lee, and I planned on using that. Whether Toph liked it or not.

* * *

GEE I WONDER WHERE THIS IS GOING!

Not.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: What are Friends For? **

Kyoshi Island has an abundance of decent earth-bending spots. This I learned soon after our arrival and had been extremely eager to get some practice in. Not that the world's best earthbender really NEEDS practice. But there's always room for improvement, right? And even if there isn't, earthbending is an awesome way to relieve stress.

However, almost as soon as we got there, I was dragged into Sokka's dilemma and hadn't really had much time for earthbending, or anything else for that matter. (Okay, that's being a bit dramatic, but whatever.) Anyway, after dressing my best friend in girl clothes and purchasing a fortune's worth of collectible moose-lions, it became apparent that the stress of the situation was actually kind of getting to me. So I figured I had no choice. I had to go earthbend.

So there I was, totally TELLING that rocky beach who was boss and having a good freaking time doing it, when Sokka showed up.

With another problem.

One would think it would be fairly easy to resist killing your best friend. I tell you now that with Sokka, that is hardly the case. I have to restrain myself on a regular basis.

Anyway, I had about had it with this whole Ty Lee problem. And I was sure to make that clear.

"Oh, come on! Again? I set you up perfectly that last time. You're either gonna have to come up with something on your own or just grow some balls and break up with the chick."

"Actually," He said calmly, much to my surprise. "I already have an idea this time. But it requires your… involvement." I raised an eyebrow, not sure where this was going. But I liked meddling in other people's affairs- especially Sokka's- so I decided to hear him out.

"Go on."

"I need to cheat on Ty Lee."

"And this involves me… how?" Uh oh. I was actually pretty sure how this involved me. My breath caught in my throat.

"Well, I wouldn't want to drag someone else into this. That tends to cause more problems than it solves. So uh, I figured it would be a good idea just to keep it between the three of us."

"I see." I croaked out, my stomach performing various uncomfortable acrobatics. Sokka was going to cheat on Ty Lee. With me.

That was when it hit me, I think. When I realized I liked Sokka.

Before, I had just been confused. I had known there was something weird about our friendship. Like, I felt different around him than around, say, Aang. And when he kissed me that day on the top of the head, I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me when I started, um, totally freaking out.

Yeah. Now I knew. And I really, _really _hoped that Sokka didn't know too.

"So… you'll help me?"

"What exactly do you have in mind?" I suddenly realized I was sweating, a fact that had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I was just earthbending my ass off. Earthbending rarely made me break a sweat. The thought of pretending to be romantically involved with my best friend/ newly discovered love interest, on the other hand, did.

"Well, since she already suspects something, I think all we have to do now is get her to catch us… um… kissing."

"Kissing." It was a good thing the blood had long since drained from my face, because otherwise I probably would have been blushing like crazy.

"Come on, I know it's not the best plan ever. But it'll work, and you can't deny that." He was right. It _would_ work. As well as leave me completely mortified and possibly unconscious. I just couldn't picture kissing Sokka. Well, now that I was thinking about it, I could. And it would definitely be awkward. Speaking of awkward, I had no idea what to say to Sokka's… proposal.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"I mean, I think I owe it to you at this point." I was lying. I didn't owe him shit and we both knew it. But if I put it that way, it seemed a lot less weird.

"Great. So, uh. That's all I got. I was kind of counting on you to elaborate and make it work." Wow, I really couldn't believe I was doing this. Right then and there, I almost backed out. Told him to solve his own problems. But the truth is, I wanted to help him.

And even more than that, I wanted to _kiss _him. So instead, I just shrugged and said,

"Hey, what are friends for?"

* * *

The end.

Just kidding. This is far from over, believe me.

Chapters are getting progressively shorter. I fail.

Anyway, tell me what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Cannibalism (not really)**

"Okay, so if the four of us had gotten hopelessly lost in the desert or something and were unable to find food, which one of us would you eat?" I asked offhandedly. Toph and I had been sitting on the couch in my room waiting for Ty Lee to show up for the past two hours. Our plan was to just wait until she decided to drop in- which she did frequently enough- and then start... kissing just before she came in the room. So far though, we were just bored. We had recently resorted to asking and answering random questions for entertainment. It was actually pretty interesting to hear some of her answers.

"You, naturally," She replied, rolling her eyes as if it were obvious.

"Me? Why!?!" Toph took a deep breath.

"Because," She explained. "If we ate Aang, we'd all die eventually anyway because there would be no one to defeat the fire lord. If we ate Katara, Aang would go all Avatar-state on our asses and guess what? We'd die. Appa would probably be the best choice, but he wasn't with us in the desert. And if we tried to eat Momo, you'd probably sacrifice yourself anyway to save him. And even if you didn't, he'd hardly be a substantial meal. So obviously, that leaves you."

Wow. She really thought that one out.

"What makes you think you could eat me? What if I ate you first?"

"If I remember correctly, you were hallucinating on cactus juice at the time. That makes you a fairly easy target."

"Hmm. Guess so." Only Toph could hold a completely logical conversation about hypothetical cannibalism. "Your turn," I said. She bit her lip in concentration as she struggled to come up with a question that hadn't been asked already.

"If you were a bender, what element would it be? And don't be a smartass and say water because you're from the water tribe. I'm talking personal choice here."

I was _way_ ahead of her on that one. I had thought about it quite often, actually. And every time I thought about it, I ended up with the same choice.

"Earth," I said decisively.

"Excellent choice. Why?"

"Because. I'm a warrior, so I would need something offensive and strong. I'd probably end up hurting myself with fire. So that leaves earth."

"Makes sense. Do you ever wish you _were_ a bender?"

"Do you ever wish you could see?" I snapped back. This seemed to catch her off guard. Her eyebrows furrowed momentarily while she thought.

"Sometimes. But that's hardly the same thing," she whispered. It got quiet after that, and I felt bad because I thought maybe I had made her sad.

Suddenly, she stood up.

"She's here," She announced. It took a while for the words to process. Ty Lee was here. That meant I had to kiss Toph. Uh oh. "You ready?" I nodded. But I wasn't ready at all. My heart was pounding in my ears, which, I realized with embarrassment, Toph could feel.

_I'm going to die, _I told myself as she sat down next to me again. For a few seconds, we sort of just sat there looking at each other, neither of us wanting to initiate the staged kiss. Then, finally, awkwardly, our lips met.

It was strange, kissing Toph. And not just for all the obvious reasons. Not just because we were best friends and this wasn't real and I was already sort of committed to someone, (though _that_ wasn't real either.)

No, the strange part was how I kept on having to tell myself it was fake. The stranger part was that the kiss was getting gradually _deeper. _And the strangest part was that I liked it.

So, by the time Ty Lee walked in, I had completely forgotten she was the reason I was doing this. Until she shattered my eardrums with an angry shriek reminiscent of a dying lemur. Then I remembered. And then I freaked out.

I pulled away from Toph, confused as hell. But there was no time to think about her. I had to act fast, if the screaming Ty Lee in the doorway was any indication.

And by act, I mean pretend.

"Ohmygod. Ty Lee! What are you- I didn't- I don't…" I stammered, hoping my confusion would be misread as guilt.

"I _knew_ it! But you always told me I was wrong. I can't believe I was so stupid. Sokka, how could you? I thought you loved me."

I couldn't think of anything to say. Finally, Ty Lee turned to leave. "Unless I haven't made it clear, we're through," she said. And then she was gone. And I felt like shit.

For once, Toph didn't laugh.

* * *

Wow, this is a really serious chapter. I don't like it.

I DO NOT SUPPORT CANNIBALISM AMONG FRIENDS.

Enemies and strangers are okay though.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry that it took so long and that this chapter kinda sucks. Enjoy anyway.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Play Along**

I couldn't sleep.

At first I didn't understand why—everything seemed to be going well for once. Ty Lee was finally out of Sokka's hair and, consequently, Sokka out of mine. But just because he was "out of my hair" didn't mean he was "out of my mind." In fact, he was lodged there permanently and I couldn't get him out.

And that, I finally decided, was the thing preventing me from sleep.

I tossed and turned for hours, trying to forget the way my best friend's lips tasted. And when I finally fell asleep, my dreams were about him. I'm not going to recall the specifics, but Sokka was _definitely_ the uh… main character.

So when I woke up the next morning, still tired and a bit unnerved, I realized that this had to freaking stop. Only I didn't know how to make that happen.

I sat around for a little while feeling sorry for myself. When that didn't work, I decided to go find Sokka.

My quest did not last long. In fact, it ended with a thud as I quite literally ran into him on my way out of the building. I easily steadied myself with a nervous chuckle. Sokka, on the other hand, fell flat on his ass. My nervous chuckle grew into an uproarious fit of laughter.

"Shut up," He muttered as he helped himself to his feet. "You pretty much slammed right into me."

"Yeah," I admitted, wiping the tears from my eyes. "But somehow, that doesn't make me want to laugh at you any less."

And then the unavoidable moment occurred where we both finally remembered that thing where we kissed yesterday. Or at least, I remembered it. And I assumed Sokka did too because suddenly his heart rate increased and the air between us got all tense.

"So, uh," He said, his voice cracking. I almost laughed, but that would have broken the tension. And I liked to watch Sokka struggle. "About Ty Lee. I'm finally done with her and stuff, but um. I think it'd be a good idea if we sort of like… kept up the charade."

My breath caught in my throat.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, let's keep pretending to be together. We don't have to like kiss or anything. It's just, if Ty Lee finds out it was all staged just to get rid of her, it'll be even worse than it already is."

His reasoning kind of made sense. At least, according to Sokka logic it did. I turned the idea over in my mind, knowing full well that it would most definitely lead to no good. But given my "Well, why the hell not" mentality combined with the fact that I had actually gotten used to helping Sokka out with his crazy girl problems, I agreed.

"Fine. But Sokka, I swear to God, this is the absolute _last_ time I'm getting dragged into this game. If you somehow manage to screw up again, you're on your own." He sighed, no doubt relieved that I was stupid enough to continue helping him.

"Thanks, Toph," He said. Then he gave a short, panicked gasp and grabbed my hand.

"What the-!"

"Shh! Suki's coming. Just play along."

"Hey, Sokka," Said a familiar voice that I had spent the last year or so hoping I would never hear again. "Oh, hey Toph! It's so good to see you!"

"Same here, Suki," I said. This was a lie, half because I couldn't see her and half because even if I could, I would definitely not describe the encounter as good.

"So, you two are together now?" I could tell she was doing her best to sound innocently curious, but it came off to me as just plain old nosy.

"Heh, yeah," Sokka said. His voice cracked again and I fought back a sigh. It would be a miracle if Suki bought this. "Crazy, huh?" His palm grew sweaty against mine. Gross.

"I think it's cute. But, you know, Ty Lee's pretty torn up about it. You weren't going behind her back, were you?"

I was suddenly filled with an inexplicable anger toward Suki. I felt my face flush, and my free hand balled into a fist at my side. I knew I should probably just bite my tongue before I said something I would regret. But since when have I done what I should?

"Not to interject here, Suki," I spat the name with maybe a little bit more malice than she deserved. But dammit, I was pissed. "But I hardly see what this has to do with you! If Ty Lee is upset, she's more than welcome to beat Sokka here up—she probably could and God knows he deserves it. But that's her issue and hers alone, so why don't you just mind your own damn business?" Suki said nothing. "Let's go," I muttered. Then I stormed off in a random direction, dragging my false boyfriend along with me.

Barely audible over the dull roar of the crowded street was the soft hum of Sokka's laughter.


End file.
